i have been such a hopeless wreck. never have i imagined that i would end up like this again. maybe i am just an emotional wreck. maybe thats it.

for the past month or so, i felt what it was like to be loved again. but that was short lived by my emotions running wild. i just went hay wire. i let go of someone who really cares for me for who i really am and not just for the outside. i regret my actions but i try not to now. i'd rather let her be happy with someone else then let me be screwing her life up like i used to with jac.

i just cant take it anymore. cuts will come. cuts will bleed. i love pain.

rick.